Powieści i opowiadania

About a girl who went mad too early

In one little town there was a family – two sisters and one brother. The boy had beem buried in the ground before he was able to develop his arms and legs and before he was able to joyfully hug anything. Bad luck. The little girl, the middle one of the three, was growing fast and soon started to forget many things. Such was the case with her morning toilet and the observance of the rules of savoir vivre. Not being able to get hold of all these rules of behaviour one day she just went mad. At one occasion she started to walk backwards with her arms crossed. She wouldn’t eat many products available on the market, because she stubbornly insisted they were not fresh. She boycotted every store and shop praising only the hand-made goods. She ate out of paper plates and cleaned her hands with wax. All that she performed with devotion and gravity, being of the opinion that each and every activity deserves certain respect. She talked to flies, wasps and cockchafers about the current political situation in the country. She would never step on ants and wished them good day. Yes, certainly she was insane. That’s how her mother, uncles and God-knows-where-from step borthers thought of her. One day when she got up and wanted to eat her breakfast she felt that her room was swaying and so she opened the door and saw the blue blue sky and clouds... those cross-eyed milky lambs smiling trustingly at her. “This day will be the most beatiful of all!” she exclaimed and started to tidy up her closet. At opening the first door she saw a pile of old and worn gloves. Then she found a large pile of socks, tights and stockings. “Is any of this useful?”, she thought. Whether it is or not - it does not matter. And so, day by day the madness peacefully grew inside her. Every day things mattered less and less, until finally she could not diferrentiate anything at all. She was smiling all the time, as she was no longer worried that she could not understand something.

Time was passing quickly like a rabbit running into its den, but not for our protagonist. Her time was always swaing layzily just like herself sitting on a stool with her hands in the pockets of her apron. “Today I’ll eat...”, she thought, but never ate anything, because she forgot to. “Tomorrow I’ll do...”, but she never did, because the next day she lost track of what she was up to. And when everyone thought her completely mad, she decided to writes doctoral thesis. And so she went to consult a professor Megabrain. The old fellow, about sixty something, made tea and sat in his armachair. It was supposed to be a serious conversation and so it was.

- Well then, my dear, I listen. What are going to write avout? - he asked.

- Applied metaphysics - replied the young insane lady.

- Hmm, yes, well, hmm... - murmured the professor. - Very well, let’s start then. We must gather materials, evidence, arguments and all publications available.

And so they started the tedious work of going through thousands of volumes and selecting suitable information. Together they wrote several hypotheses. During that work the professor started to feel something for the young girl and she for him. The atmosphere became heavy and confusing. In this chaos our little protagonist lost all the threads and forgot all hypotheses. She became a little desperate and so, in order not to give in to this confucion she took her clothes off and stood naked before the professor.

- How many breats can you see? - she asked.

- Well... two, I guess - he said.

- And how many arms?

- Two - he said again, already starting to feel ineavitably hot and excited.

- And how many eyes, how many legs?

- Yes, my dear, actually every part of your body comes in pairs... with one tiny exception.

- Exactly! - she yelled. - And that’s the point, I am to plain not to be insane!

- Oh dear - said the the embarassed professor - you are insane! You are standing here before me, naked, aren’t you? Without clothes, with no particular reason. That makes you, my dear, an insane girl, not to say - a freak!

Since then the little girl had decided never to meet with Mr Professor or other fellows like him. She appreciated her madness far to greatly to trade it for a simple doctoral thesis.

Suzi Volter
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